i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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