Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize