you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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