FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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