That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
