I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
