"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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