That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
