Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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