yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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