It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
