nut hugger
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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