I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
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did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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