don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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