problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
sex in a hospital.. check
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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