you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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