so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
