He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
