i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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