Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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