i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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