i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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