Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
