i will never coherently bang her
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
