you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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