this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
