best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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