I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
