So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
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this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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