i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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