Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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