i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
