Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
