he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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