i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
