It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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