i think i have herpe
just one?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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