Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
