Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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