I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
