That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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