Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
