umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
