i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize