Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
