i would punch a child for taco bell
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
