2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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