i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
