No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
