shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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