a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
