erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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