No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my shit smells like andre
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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