just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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