That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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