Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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