wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
