i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
