Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
